Okay, all ye faint of heart……exit now. Because I am about to pour my heart out to my diary once again. If you aren’t of the female gender, you may want to exit too. If you choose not to, you’ll see why. First of all, I had some “issues” of the kind you don’t want to see in a lady after she has gone thru the “change of life” which basically means your youth is slipping away. So I did what every sensible lady does, and walked, no actually ran to the gynecologist. You know, for the last five years I have had inner arguments with the voice in my head, too busy, too dreadful, too expensive, too dreadful, etc. But when you get “symptoms” somehow you make time, real fast. So off I went. And my new doctor who I like very much said, ” Hmmmmm…..don’t I recognize you from somewhere?” Not exactly what you want to hear from your gynecologist. Wanted to be kind of incognito but turns out he had seen me in the building, since our dental office occupies nearby. Next he says he does not like what he sees in my chart. Best thing – an ultrasound, the kind where they “go in”. ugh. So that was the first humilation. You go into this little room and this sweet young lady kind of dresses what looks like a nightclub in what looks like a condom, and then smiles sweetly and says, “Do you want to insert this or should I?” Uh……..give me that thing. YIKES….the tortures that await the lady with the dreaded symptoms are many and unimaginable. Are you kidding me??? Then the doctor comes in and says we have a “finding”. Okay, define “finding”. What on earth did you FIND up there???? Oh, we can’t tell you that, you will need to go and have an endometrial biopsy and talk to your doctor.
Oh my, that sounds like FUN. Can you please tell me anything about what you found?? Cuz it felt like you were digging for gold, was it gold??? No, you need to talk to your doctor. The lady in the room who had actually dug for the gold told me when the insensitive doctor left that it looked like just a polyp, but the only way to know for sure is to do the dreaded biopsy. OKAY, but before that go for a mammography, cuz heaven knows you are not supposed to wait 7 years since the last one. Oh and aren’t those just a walk in the park too? Isn’t that fun too??? Putting that part of your human anatomy on a cold shelf and then squishing it till all you can think of are words you could get arrested for saying????? And then she says to me, our doctor likes us to get a bit of your belly up there on that table too……oh gee, no sweat,,,,,let me just put it up there for you……are you kidding me??????? Then you wait days for the results of your tests…….and go on dreading the biopsy all that time. Go on line and google endometrial biopsy before getting one, but only if you really loathe yourself. Wanna be scared to death?? Well just try that, go ahead.
Okay, so the day comes and you go for the dreaded test. First I ask the nurse, “Does this hurt as much as everyone says?” – “Oh, no, it’s a little crampy, but it’s not really pain. I have never had one, but it’s not really pain” Oh gee, thanks, so convincing. Then she proceeds to take out some tools that look like they could snake the entire plumbing system in my house and lay them on the table. Then they take your blood pressure and say, “150 over 80, wow, are you nervous or something?” “Who, ME, NERVOUS? WHY, WHY WOULD I BE NERVOUS? JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO AFTER MY TONSILS THRU THE OPPOSITE END??? JUST BECAUSE THAT STRAW AND CLEAVERS THERE DON’T LOOK THAT USER FRIENDLY?? NAH….I’M
NOT NERVOUS….MAYBE WE CAN DO THIS TWICE IT LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN….” And then it happens…..the doc comes in, and you lay there thinking, “Okay, so this does kind of hurt…..I sorta call this pain….yah, this feels alot like pain…..and the sweet doctor looks up over the drape and says, “How you doin’ Karen?” and I say, “Uh, no, the question is HOW ARE YOU DOIN??? How much longer you gonna be UP there????” “Almost done, almost done…..”and then it’s over and you remember that you can actually breathe if you just draw breath in and let it out. “Okay, as soon as we get the results back we will be removing the polyp if that is in fact what it is….as soon as we know there is no cancer in the lining…..and Karen you did so well with this biopsy that we can do that “procedure” right here in my office, because now I see you can handle it” Oh JOY…..I can’t wait…..I love those stirrups, I love this place…’s always nice to have something to look forward to…….”AND thru all of this frolic and fun, I have had the SHINGLES……and they are lots’ o fun too….and I am feeling like a car that is beginning to fall apart. Anyway, about another anxious week and then I will know what I already know in my heart of hearts and that is that that darn polyp is nothing and I went thru all of this for naught…….but it keeps you humble to go thru stuff like this every once in a while. I hope it’s another 7 years
at least for me!! So these cards along the way, I forget that some people actually explain their artwork on their blogs but if you have any questions, ask away – I’ll be happy to share….this one on the left is from the Patty Bennett tutorial – reinker roses….so fun!! I have had SO MUCH FUN THIS WEEK…FUN…..FUN….FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I just thought I had to share some of this great experience I have had in the last few weeks….biopsies, ultrasounds and shingles….OH MY! Until next time…..Ain’t life GRAND????

What do you think?

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  • Sandee Shanabrough
    May 12, 2010

    Stay strong and keep that sense of humor! My Mom keeps telling me that getting old ain't for sissies! Ha! Not that we are old or anything. She just keeps telling me that!!!

  • Wanda Cullen
    May 12, 2010

    Karen, I'm so sorry to hear about your medical issues, but the Good Book says laughter is the best medicine and with your great sense of humor, you're bound to be cured! 🙂 The 'not knowing what's going on' is the hardest part of it all. I went through a row of tests last spring – to rule out bladder cancer. I had a happy ending to my story and pray you'll have the same! BTW, you've been cranking out some drop-dead gorgeous cards! Glad to see you in blogland again!

  • Anonymous
    May 12, 2010

    Your cards are beautiful, as always!! And your take on life is an inspiration…meet it head on, deal with it employing humor where you can and in the end, you acknowledge that you know you are not the one in charge and all will be as it should be.
    God's blessings to you and yours!
    Lu C

  • Mary Marsh
    May 12, 2010

    praying for you my paper doll friend

  • Gloria Westerman
    May 12, 2010

    Girl I 've been there and done and still wearing the tennis shoes….and your right it's no picnic…..I hated it…but it's the wait that is so up setting….then it comes back "normal"…then why did you have me go thur hell and back for "normal"…..I think all these Doctors should go thru this at least twice a year….you just hang in there…..we'll keep you company….

  • Sabrina
    May 12, 2010

    Hugs to you, Karen, and I'll be remembering you in my prayers while you wait to hear back. It may not be fun, but you sure know how to write in such an entertaining fashion – with those gorgeous cards as eye-candy along the way.

  • G;enda
    May 12, 2010

    I too had medical issues a couple of years ago…Skin Cancer and I thought it was scar tissue. Nearly died when they said the C word…but it was the "Good Kind" if there is such a thing. Your heart stops and you say to yourself…"Well, here we go" Glad you kept your sense of humor!

  • Vicki Dutcher
    May 12, 2010

    OMG – You are just cracking me up! Sure makes me want to go to the dr…NOT! LOL – I am sure all will be well –meanwhile – fabulous cards BTW – kind of second spotlight to your hysterical stories… You are the Best!!

  • Karen W
    May 12, 2010

    Oh my how we can relate!!! Our prayers are with you for a benign outcome!! Cards are gorgeous also.

  • Edna Morrisedie
    May 12, 2010

    Thanks for sharing, it is great to see you are approaching this with a positive mind, I pray that all is well for you, do keep us posted, and feel free to express these things whenever you need to… I must say it was nice of you to include so many lovely cards, what beautiful distractions they were, wonderful work Karen, hope all is well!

  • Peggy
    May 12, 2010

    Oh MY!! For those of us that have had similar experiences, I can totally identify! I love how you infuse humor in your post about a not so humorous topic!
    Your cards are absolutely beautiful! I especially love the butterflies!

  • Carol Dee
    May 12, 2010

    OMG, Can I relate! I went through all that last summer. Everything is okay, too. But sure was NO FUN finding out that I am Okay!!! Sorry to hear about the shingles. Hope they clear quickly. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Big Hugs….

  • The Other Patti Sue
    May 12, 2010

    You are such a hoot! I love how you take life's most unpleasant times with a sense of humor! Your cards are gorgeous as usual!

  • Dawn
    May 12, 2010

    forget your real job, you should be a writer! are you related to Erma? oh my…that sounded absolutely…well, yeah…like that! hugs and prayers kiddo.

  • Marsha Fisher
    May 12, 2010

    Shingles–ouch! As for the rest, I think every women over 40 can relate to the horrors and indignities of the GYN experiences :-(. Praying that it will all turn out well.

  • Kathy and Lucky
    May 12, 2010

    Hang in there, I was there also, it is amazing how they make you wait and throw those it might be, could be and then your mind takes off. Wish they would think of that first, isn't there a could be…but… maybe to just give some peace of mind. Prayers for you, remember God only gives what He thinks you can handle and with your inspiration and humor you will be just fine.

  • Margie
    May 12, 2010

    Sending prayers your way. These "bumps in the road" make us appreciate the good days even more. We must never take good health for granted.

  • Joanne Travis
    May 12, 2010

    Oh my, Karen! Hang in there, and at least you can find some humor in the situation. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    All of your cards are exquisitely beautiful, your details are always so meticulous and gorgeous. You have such an artistic eye. Awesome work, my friend!

  • Bonnie McLain
    May 12, 2010

    Being a WOMAN means you were born strong, sensible, and intelligent in all ways… so chin up and you will get thru it… it has taken it's toll on me too… I think we all end up with a lot of knowledge that we didn't know we would receive.. it is a journey into the realm of being a CRONE… a woman with knowledge!!!! A true trip and a half… hope you can find the inner being to hold onto… as she is strong… and make a lot of cards… keep us sane. At least that is what I have found…
    Love, Light and Peace.. Bonnie

  • Carol Dee
    May 12, 2010

    Beautiful cards. AND I can totally relate. I went through EXACTLY the same thing last summer. Thankfully everything was and is ok. Glad to hear that you are also. Keep Smiling. Hugs…

  • Francie G.
    May 13, 2010

    Karen, you are cracking me up! I think it is just fabulous that you can keep your sense of humor thru all of this! Hugs! Blessings!

    Your cards are just beautiful! Wonderful coloring! Each unique!

  • Ronda Wade
    May 13, 2010

    You are amazing, Karen. We will all have to go through it someday, and when I do…I will SO think of you. Thank you for sharing, and for the beautiful music on your blog.

  • Becky Yo
    May 14, 2010

    Karen, I could literally hear you saying what you wrote! My mom always calls her yearly check-up her "annual indignity" – ain't that the truth! We'll be praying that all the tests, minings, and squishings result in good news and peace of mind.

  • Cathleen
    May 14, 2010

    Oh Wow Karen, Sorry to hear about all your experiences at the doctor, but I enjoyed reading your story, love your fun sense of humor. Sending you a big hug!

  • Julia Aston
    May 14, 2010

    Well Karen – good for you to get the tests done! I've been through similar and we do survive!! Thank goodness we live in a time where these things can be done right?!? your cards are just beautiful!

  • Marlene
    May 14, 2010

    you are an amazing women Karen! I'm sure all will turn out well – had polyps on and off for years – had D&C's with mine – at least they knock you out for those…the waiting is miserable – but when the results turn out good we really appreciate what we have – and we all need a reminder that having our health is the MOST important thing – always….
    xoxo Marlene – can't wait to see you at convention – and your cards are as amazing as you are…

  • Betty Wright
    May 14, 2010

    Karen, I so feel your pain! I know there are some great OBGYNs out there, but then there are the dreaded few that I like to call the "uterus snatchers"! Leave me and my parts alone! The last thing I told my husband was do not let them take my utes-r-us! What? I was drugged and headed for surgery! To this day….I have white-coat syndrome! I will be keeping you in my prayers! So totally not fun!

  • Dara
    May 17, 2010

    I had the biopsy done too, it isn't fun, I ended up having precancerous cells. The ended up doing a LEAP. which basically is scraping of your cells. To my bad, I haven't been back since, but everything seems fine to me.

    Good luck. Oh, they put you out for it, so you should be fine.

  • Sharli Schaitberger
    May 17, 2010

    Oh dear! Keeping you close in prayer – and I must say – I was only briefly distracted from your trials and tribulations to notice some very, very beautiful cards sprinkled here and there.

    I've experiencing what you went through and you describe it pretty much the way I remember it, too. LOL


  • Tina Rosenkrans
    May 17, 2010

    I will be smiling all day now…. I told you it hurt and you didn't believe me!! You thought I was a baby!! Just love the combo of spilling your guts with awesome artwork thruout….. Only my Karen!

  • Oh Karen, you poor thing-it had to be frightening for you to blog about this experience! But you had me in stitches reading this-just love that you can still keep your wonderful sense of humor concerning some not so funny things! (confession time-I've been putting this stuff off too! But I'm going to print this off and take it with me when I go to keep my smiling through it all!) Your are in my prayers my friend…

  • bettystamps
    May 18, 2010

    Well Karen, you know when the guys see a guy friend get it 'where it hurts'; don't worry, we girls are knowing 'where it hurts' for us and we are holding our breaths for you too! I pray our results are free of worry as I know you've worried enough already! Keep up the great spirit. We're here for ya too! Thanks for your great inspiration and beautiful art work.

  • Grace
    May 18, 2010

    Hi Karen! I had some time to surf tonight and found your blog… and so glad I did! I read it through and through and just love your sense of humor!!! I trust by now you have gotten your results… I pray all is well! I know a bit of what you're talking about… I just got rid of everything!!! Gone! Nada! Been 10 years since I went to "that" kind of Dr! LOL! But like you I'm waiting for the results of my mamo now. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and saying a prayer for you my friend!

  • nancyruth
    May 18, 2010

    oh my DO NOT WAIT & YEARS to go to the doctor again! YOur work is gorgeous Karen!!! and I laughed at your story, I have been there too with an internal ultrasound and my first thought as she waved the wand was * you're kidding me aren't you???* anyway I am preying for your clean results and keep those amAZING CARDS COMINEG1

  • Anonymous
    May 19, 2010

    Wow, Karen you are too funny!! I am hoping that I can figure out how to actually post this comment. (To think 20 years ago I purchased computers as a job). Your cards are incredible and so is your love for God which has blessed me each and every time I check out your blog. Thanks and blessings to you.

  • What a wonderful sense of humor and writing style you have, Karen. I think it's important to have to help you through this. It IS stressful going through all of that and waiting for test results; you're in my thoughts and prayers for a good outcome. All of your cards are so GORGEOUS!

  • Unknown
    May 19, 2010

    Life is grand, I am thankful that your tests and biopsy were not a major thing…and loved your light and funny attitude. Plus, I so love your creations- you are so talented and I just can't wait to see what you have in store for us each post.

  • Kerin
    May 20, 2010

    Oh my goodness, I actually broke out laughing while reading your post. I know that probably sounds awful, but I can SO relate and although I know how dreadful it is, you made it sound pretty comical! Btw, cards are gorgeous as always 🙂

  • Denise
    May 22, 2010

    OMG….I'm sorry for the troubles you're going through. The change for me has gone smooth.

    Your story made me chuckle LOUD:) Certainly not situation but the way you tell it. I prepare for the mammo's by lying on the garage floor and have someone drive over them, back up and do it again. Sure is what it feels like.

    Your cards along the way are gorgeous. I hope everything works out in your favor!

  • Lisa Lawrence
    May 23, 2010

    Wow! I just found your blog after searching Splitcoast for the black magic technique. First, I'm sorry about your medical issues, but your attitude is awesome. As is your art!!! Wow! Wow! Wow!

    Thanks for sharing. I am happy to be a follower and will be back soon to check out all your art.

    God bless,

  • Anonymous
    May 23, 2010

    Your Cards are beautiful!!
    Stay strong and keep your sense of humor, it will help you thri=ough it all…… prauers are with you!

  • Chris
    May 23, 2010

    Your cards are beautiful! Stay strong and keep your sense of humor it will go a long way………My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  • jdmommy - Anne Harmon
    May 24, 2010

    Please keep us posted, and remember, humor is the only thing that gets us through the yuckies!!! Hugs, my dear friend! prayers are with you.

  • Anonymous
    May 25, 2010

    Dear Karen…I know what you are going through…I felt like a mamography is like placing your breast under your car tire and then saying" Okay Honey, let er roll". My real hope is when God says our treasure is in heaven…but I swear if I find out that there are paps and all of the other great things that women get to do..I'm outta there!!! I will reinvent reincarnation and come back as a cat or even a roach….anything that doesnt need a pap…Best of luck,, and take care Vickie

  • Annette
    May 26, 2010

    Karen – Praying for peace of mind as you await your results. I can so relate – don't you just love all the probing? It's a joy for sure. Your humor is such an inspiration as you describe your last few weeks. Stay positive and keep smiling 🙂
    Your creativity is off the charts – the cards are beautiful!

  • jkreucher
    May 28, 2010

    Oh My Gosh Karen! You were so sweet to comfort me in my little things going on.. and here you have something major interupting your life!
    I am sending prayers your way my friend.
    on top of all this you have the shingles.. they are so painful too.
    Even through all of this, you can take the time to relate your story with humor.
    and these amazing, wonderful creations as eye candy wound through your story are absolutly wonderful.
    Very soft Hugs to you…. waiting is the worst.

  • Lorraine
    June 9, 2010

    Oh Karen, it pays to have a good sense of humor to get you through these things. I know from experience that there are times that if you don't laugh you'll cry. I love your "sharing" and your cards are absolutely each one of them an inspiration. Thank you for that!

  • Margie
    June 9, 2010

    I am missing you. I keep checking back and there are still no updates. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope all is well with you. I will keep praying.

  • Bonnie in SC
    June 9, 2010

    I don't know you, but hun, just stay strong. You know, all that stuff about what doesn't kill us, right?…sheesh! Well I wish you the best. 🙂

  • Dana Joy
    June 9, 2010

    You are a riot!!! I love this story of courage and humor. I have had my days of medical issues the past year and you know what….if you don't keep a sense of humor, you will definitely crumble. Hugs to you Karen.


  • Becky
    June 9, 2010

    PS 🙂
    Gorgeous cards.

  • Becky
    June 9, 2010

    You poor thing.. Will be praying for you.